Saint Augustine wrote Letter 258 to Marcian, “an old friend” after the year 386. He talks about friendship and its situations: false friendships (for interest or that lead you down bad paths), incomplete friendships (without spiritual values) or true friendships, in which life is shared in the light of the Gospel. Text edited and adapted.
I have taken a break from a thousand occupations to write to you, old friend, whom I did not really know until we both met in Christ. You already know that Tullius, the great eloquent Roman, defined friendship as “sharing divine and human things with kindness and love.”
In the past you shared with me the things of this world, times when I enjoyed so much in a superficial way. Although I am ashamed now, you supported me and helped me back then, you were one of the first to inflate my desires and my ego with flattering words. But at that time when there was no truth within me, our friendship was weak in spiritual matters. We felt affection in all human matters, but not in the divine.
When I decided to change and convert, you, always with your good will, cared for me and were interested in my well-being and happiness. How can I express to you today how much I enjoy our friendship, now that it is a true friendship?
In addition to those normal things in life, we have now added the spiritual part to our friendship. To those human aspirations, we have added the hope of eternal life. And now we know how to value the things of this world in the light of God, without giving them more importance than they really have.
We do not despise those things, because everything is a gift from God, but now we do give them their true value. Without sharing that spiritual part there can be no full and true friendship. Whoever does not give importance to the divine, will never be able to correctly value the human; and you cannot truly love people if you do not love the one who created human life.
I am not saying that we are now “best friends” or that we were “half-way” before, but in reality neither of us were in complete harmony, because we were both far from the spiritual and our rhythms were different.
Do not be upset or think that what I am going to tell you is absurd: at the time when I had worldly aspirations, although you thought that I loved you madly, in reality you were not my friend; I was not even a friend to myself, rather I was my own enemy.
I was dominated by pride, and the Sacred Scripture says: “He who loves evil hates his own soul (Psalm 10:6).” And if I hated my own soul, how could I be a true friend to you? When I felt the goodness and love of Jesus in my heart it was not because of my merits, but because of his mercy.
You were still far from that, so how could you be my friend if you were not aware of how God had filled me with happiness and taught me to be my own friend?
I thank God that, at last, he opened our hearts to be true friends. Now we share the human and the divine from the values of Jesus, our true happiness. The commandments are reduced to two: you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
The first deals with the divine and the second with the human, always from goodness and love. If you hold these two principles firmly, our friendship will be true and lasting. Moreover, it will unite us not only to you and me, but also to God.
I encourage you to approach the Eucharist and the sacraments. Once, quoting a verse from Terence, you told me: “This day brings new life, therefore it demands other habits…” If you meant it sincerely, and I have no doubt about it, you must now be consistent and receive baptism.
There is no one else, other than Jesus, to whom humanity can say: “Following you, if there are still traces of our sins, the earth will be free from fear forever.” Virgil says that he took this from the oracle of Cumae.
Despite my many occupations, I have written this to you, dear brother, in the hope that you will welcome it. I await your reply telling me that you have already inscribed your name on the list of those preparing for baptism or that you are about to do so.
May God, the Lord in whom you have believed, keep you here and in eternal life.
