Mother Angeles Garcia began by taking care of the abandoned girls of the Holy Childhood. However, the vicissitudes of life and wars meant that she was left for eight years without the company of the sisters with whom she had arrived from Spain.
When Angeles arrived in China, in the company of Monsignor Ochoa, Sister Esperanza, Sister Carmela and Sister Dolores, a Filipino nun who joined the three Spanish nuns, she was assigned to accompany the orphaned girls of the Holy Childhood. Her love and dedication to her orphans made her neglect learning the Chinese language. She describes it this way in her diary:
“Holy Childhood. This was – I was going to say – the insensible death of my weak Chinese language… My little girls were so clever and our contact was so constant that we came to understand each other wonderfully by means of language that was intelligible to everyone, that of mime and of half-spoken or even badly spoken words. Because of this, I did not put all the interest that the arid study of the language of Confucius required… Later I had to apply myself”.
Angeles puts all her effort into helping the little girls who had been abandoned and taken in by the Mission to grow in all aspects of life. As a true missionary, she knows that evangelization must be closely linked to human promotion.
“My missionary life passed happily and contentedly within the walls of a room that served as a dining room and a living room. I saw myself surrounded by little girls. Guided by my heart, I told them how they should love the Child Jesus by giving Him everything that came from their pure hearts, teaching them to offer small sacrifices, to love their little sisters, and when they were old enough, they learned to cook, to learn everything that could be useful to them in the future…
I only left them when, accompanied by a little Chinese nun, I went to the villages, to the prisons or to visit the sick and lukewarm or fervent Christians; when we went out, in short, to ‘fish for souls’ and we rarely came back empty-handed… I also left them while I had to attend Community events”.
This part of the diary was written when quite a bit of time had passed since the experience, so it is full of nostalgia for how happy she has been and she perceives and describes those moments of her life as those of a “form-made missionary.”
It is striking how much her life has changed since she left the cloister, and yet, she felt completely centered and concentrated on the mission. In the midst of her missionary activity, far from the security of the cloister, in the greatest external precariousness, she experiences herself as unified, interiorly centered. The fruits of this life in God are once again joy and happiness.
“How happy, how content I felt in my beloved China! Among my little girls or making the Kingdom of God known in the villages, yes, I felt like a missionary ‘in form,’ I felt and lived in my center.”
Thus the happy years of her missionary life pass, until the moment when, faced with the outbreak of the war with Japan and an urgent need in the life of Carmela, then dedicated to the formation of the Chinese nuns of the Congregation of Catechists of Christ the King, God bursts into her life again with a “proposal” unknown until then by Angeles.
“A gray cloud looms. For me it consisted of a letter in which Sister Carmela’s father called her to arrange family matters, offering to pay the expenses of the trip there and back. Needless to say, the inner revolution took place in my spirit, because I saw myself with the responsibility of the future nuns, and others who were already nuns, on my weak shoulders. I felt really incapable of assuming such a great responsibility”.
Because of the Sino-Japanese war, the trip was delayed, although it only served to slow down the maturation of the journey. How to prepare for war? What is the best way to protect the little ones of the Holy Childhood? Who will be able to endure such torment?
“It was on May 19, 1938, when the Japanese planes appeared flying over Kweiteh, only on a ‘reconnaissance plan’.
Our good Lord Bishop, in agreement with the missionary fathers, decided to build a shelter for all the people who lived in the Holy Childhood, who were about forty.”
Completely ignorant of war matters, Angeles does not perceive the danger that threatens her. In the midst of desperation, hugging her sister Carmela, thinking they are the only survivors, she feels happy to die with her in China.
“On May 20th, at about one in the afternoon, two squadrons of Japanese planes appeared. Tired of hearing alarming sounds, the little girls were left to sleep in their beds during the heavy hours of the siesta.
I did not trust them much or little, and in fear of dying among the rubble I went out to the patio to ‘see’ the pirouettes of the iron birds. Suddenly I see them descend with lightning speed and throw out what I in my war ignorance believed to be leaflets or ‘papers’.
What was my surprise when I felt and heard a movement and a frightening noise. Seeing myself enveloped in a very dense cloud of dust, broken tiles, charred chicks. The earth was shaking, the windows were shattering, all the ceilings of our convent (by then we had a wonderful building) collapsed.
It seemed like a reflection of the end of the world. At times I thought I was the only survivor of the Mission… Without knowing what I was doing, I went to the place where I heard the cries and prayers of the Christian refugees.
On the way I ran into my little sister Carmela. We hugged each other and we were happy to die together in China.”
Angeles is so imbued with God that when she tells us about the encounter with Mother Esperanza after the explosion she is able to spiritualize a scene that was so impressive for her.
“We went in search of our Mother and Sister Dolores. I still seem to see the face of my good Mother pale, her eyes wide open… As she had the darkness of the refuge in the background, I thought I saw the resurrection of Lazarus, represented in a catechism picture or painting.”
It is not only the war that shakes Angeles‘ heart. The acceptance of God’s will in her life has generally been a process, although at times quite turbulent. Her happy life has always been interspersed with moments of darkness and incomprehension, even of profound sadness.
In January 1940, Sister Carmela traveled to Spain in the company of Mother Esperanza, who, at the request of Monsignor Ochoa, was going to look for new vocations to help in the mission. The Bishop accompanied them to Manila.
We have already seen how the entire body of Angels actively participates in what happens to her. It is not easy to accept the unexpected irruptions of God in her life.
“They left me alone in China. At last, the day arrived when the spark of the letter written by Sister Carmela‘s father became a reality.
In a private letter to the good Father [Mariano] Alegría, the dear Mother asked me to give the news ‘once or several times, depending on my state of mind’… The good Father gave it to me in both ways, but the news made a terribly frightening impression on my entire being… I had a fever for I don’t know how many days and I felt dazed. Soon I had to return to the reality of life.
My trips through the countryside, my visits to prisons, to cold or fervent Christians, my Sunday walks with my beloved girls were over. From that day on I had to lead. I would no longer say ‘let’s go fishing’ but I would send them.”
Obedience to her superiors, in whom Angeles saw the true mediators of God’s will for her life, has always been the safe anchor of her soul. She never thought she would be capable of leading the Chinese nuns of the new Congregation of Christ the King before Carmela’s departure to Spain, but that is how she must do it.
“— ‘Out of obedience…’
That’s what the good Father Alegría told me, perhaps tired of hearing me say: ‘I’m good for nothing but obeying… I can’t!’
— ‘Out of obedience, that’s what Mother commands.’
I had to lower my head and take on everything, starting with learning Chinese grammar again, if I wanted to make myself understood verbally by people, especially by the twenty Chinese nuns.
As God comes to the greatest need, especially if one asks for help (convinced as I was of my misery), he also came to the present, and the Chinese, at first so ‘strange’, entered my memory with relative ease, and everything else lost the ‘fierceness’ that I thought I saw from afar…
For a few months it was hard for me to adapt to the big Chinese girls, so different from the little ones.”
Life away from her companions is not easy. She feels alone and even comes to doubt the fate of her sisters. Have they returned to the cloister? However, hope does not abandon her and once again she decides to give herself into the arms of her Father.
“Seven years passed… Because of the war, the lines of communication were cut off: at least not a letter from Spain arrived to our Mission for two long years. This was terrible for me, because I did not know the whereabouts of my two companions. Sometimes I wondered if they had locked themselves away…
So the solitude could not be more complete…
I tried to adapt to it as the Lord presented it to me, and I confidently awaited the end of such a general ‘pruning’.
Some days, when the house was falling on me, I went out into the countryside to visit my old ladies or fervent Christians. The other days I spent in the convent, near the older ones and caressing the younger ones, who did not stop calling me when they saw me crossing the courtyard.”
The atomic bomb changes the situation of oppressors and oppressed, but it does not eliminate violence and confusion. The Chinese seem to recover joy, but it will be momentarily because it seems that the turbulent times have not ended.
For the missionaries it was not easy to scrutinize the passage of God in the history that was being written at that time. Compassion for the weak, whatever their nationality or political tendency, leads Angeles and her missionary companions to have mercy on those who need it and to suffer to the point of tears with those who suffer.
With the departure of the Japanese and the imminent arrival of the communists, it is difficult to discern the paths of history at the moment, but that does not prevent the practice of charity with everyone.
“The military influx increased. Men fled from the neighbouring villages to avoid joining the ranks… All the fruit trees fell, cut down under the military axe, placed in the corners and barricades. (…) Many months were spent fleeing and approaching, permeated with a general malaise. (…) What future awaited the peaceful Chinese?”
The year 1948 begins. Here Angeles begins what she herself calls the first diary of her life. She is totally devoted to God, however, she again offers herself and accepts everything that comes from her hands, “however painful and bitter it may be.”
In the face of everything she experienced in the mission during the war, her desire for martyrdom grows. Once again the Virgin Mary, her mother in heaven, will be her companion in accepting the will of God. Seven years have passed since the departure of her two companions.
“Lord, I offer and accept with all my soul whatever your loving Providence has decreed to send me during this year, which I have seen born and which I do not know if I will see die…
I accept everything without knowing it, however painful and bitter it may be. I wish, my God, that I were found worthy of giving my blood for you.
My Consolation Mother, help me, give me faith, so that during the pleasant or unpleasant days that I will live during this year I see the Will of God in everything and become uniform with it. Amen.
Seven years ago, like seven centuries ago, my mother Esperanza and my soul sister Carmela went to Spain. How many things have happened! Will I have been left with anything clear?”.
The accompaniment of the young Chinese nuns makes her confront her own reality of fragility and sin. Jesus in the Eucharist is her faithful counselor. He knows well the miseries of her heart, and yet he always welcomes her when she comes with a repentant heart.
“Last night we had a little discussion about the internal affairs of the Chinese Congregation. How much discussion!
Because of the whirlwind last night, I saw a young sister all day long, taciturn and withdrawn. Poor little Chinese flower! If only she knew how my heart suffers to see her restless!
I prayed during the Holy Hour and then, at some words imbued with the warmth of the Tabernacle, my dear little cloud fell down in tears.
What must You feel, my God, when I, burdened with misery and with my face covered in tears, approach You to ask for forgiveness?”
Angeles knows only too well the importance of the sacraments, first of all, baptism, for the salvation of men. For this reason, she made a special effort during her missionary life to bring baptism to as many people as she could.
“January 4, 1948. As we passed through a village, they asked us if we had medicine for an old man who was seriously ill. We went to see him at his house, but the haughty Buddhist refused to receive us, saying he wanted nothing to do with Europeans… We left full of sadness and at the same time full of hope, he was not the first to refuse to receive us and then die blessing the ‘white virgins.’”
Angeles trusts in the communion of saints and awaits the moment of grace that will come only when God wants it and man is willing to accept it.
“January 15, 1948. I went with Sister Catherine Yuo to see the old man of Nan Menli and he told us that he wants nothing to do with foreigners, that he wants the religion where his ancestors died… Wait, Lord, to see if, in response to the prayers and sacrifices of an unknown soul, the penances and sufferings move your divine Heart in favor of this charitable Buddhist and the reward of his charity is the incomparable one of loving you always in heaven. Tomorrow we will return.”
And the moment of grace has arrived in the life of the elderly Buddhist. He himself asks for baptism. However, the expert missionary Angeles allows the conversion process to reach a greater degree of maturity.
“January 18, 1948. We went to visit the elderly Buddhist. Thanks to the prayers and sacrifices of suffering holy souls, the Lord has touched his heart… The good old man has listened to what was said to him and with tears in his eyes he himself has asked for Baptism. Since he seems able to carry on, we promise to return tomorrow, recommending that, as he looks at the crucifix and the image of the Virgin, he repeat the prayers that he already knows and repent of his sins. He has promised to do so.”
The joy of knowing that someone else has attained salvation cannot be greater for the missionaries.
“January 27, 1948. Sisters Maria Chan and Teresa Yuo have come deeply moved to see the most edifying death of the old Buddhist, who with the name of José María has gone straight to heaven. What joy is felt on such occasions! To which soul will this old man owe the salvation of his own? You know, Lord!.
