“The virus has hit us all, but I didn’t say goodbye to Fortaleza: it was a ‘see you soon'”

A few days ago, I wrote on this same page AgustinosRecoletos.org about my arrival and first days of volunteering at the Santa Monica Home of the Augustinian Recollects in Fortaleza (Ceará, Brazil). I come now again to you but already from Madrid, from home, my other house, because in a short time the Santa Monica Home already felt like my home as well.

I would say that in the second half of the volunteering experience is when I have enjoyed it most. For the first few weeks, you are a little lost and you are getting into the new routine, the people you live with and the environment. Once that is over and the understanding and expression of Portuguese improved more experiences come and wonderful moments not to forget.

In Fortaleza, I wrote from time to time and now, rereading those notes to capture the ideas here, I come across this I wrote on a Sunday in March:

“I enjoy more and more quiet Sundays, to eat with the residents, the hugs on the floor, to see them climbing trees, the quiet times on the sofa, to go with them to mass, their funny remarks, their smiles, their laughter, their inexhaustible energy”…

Energy, a lot of energy were for example the days of carnival: costumes, colors, dances, music and food. In Brazil, it is not just any party, from Friday to Ash Wednesday, on February 26 at noon; all stopped, or pretty much everything.

In Fortaleza, it is not as big (the carnival) or as famous as in other cities (Riode Janeiro, Salvador de Bahia)… But as my family told me before coming,  Fortaleza  is still  Brazil and the celebration is not exactly small. Practically since January there were pre-carnival parties, the neighbors get together with music, food and drink…

Already fully at the Carnival, there were parades every day in which samba schools show the result of months of work and rehearsals. Schools fill with disguises, the beach fills up even more and the streets, surprisingly, are largely deserted because most people travel or go to the specific points where there are events.

Being a great tourist attraction, it is sadly focus and source of much commercial sexual exploitation. Despite communication and awareness-raising campaigns to protect the small and vulnerable, much remains to be done, as the Carnival is the excuse for many abuses and ill- intentions proliferate.

One of the most direct actions were the thousands of bracelets distributed in the parades with the message of “No means no”, although it was not a direct campaign regarding the problem of child abuse.

The Santa Monica Home also celebrated the carnival. We all prepared the decoration, snacks, music and some games. From days before residents waited for the day with enthusiasm after choosing their costumes thanks to the donations the Home receives.

Among the costumes was everything: a bride, a dog, Frozen Elsa, Bella from the famous Disney Factory film, a witch… However, after playing with colorful powders and an enjoyable water balloon war, all the looks were somewhat affected…

The psychologists of the Santa Monica Home comment on the positiveness of this festival that enhances the imagination, illusion and the sense of aspiration to something better. For me it was also a way of embracing and loving their culture, since it is still a great party for all Brazilians; it could almost be said that the year starts in earnest once the Carnival passes and besides the girls enjoyed it very much.

On the afternoon of Tuesday’s Carnival, we organized a home cinema session with a projector and, of course, plenty of popcorn. We are all very grateful to God for allowing us to enjoy these “little things”, enjoying along with the residents, the dances, the laughter, the games… it was quite a gift.

I believe that precisely my volunteering in Fortaleza has also dealt with precisely that, of learning to enjoy the little things, of everyday life, easy and simple, of what we usually take for granted, and which we certainly do not always value.

I believe that this thought has now spread to almost all of humanity, because the virus has forced us to stop and value what we normally do not do.

I have also lived difficult moments in Fortaleza, situations that you neither know nor cannot control, roughdays, thoughts such as “what do I do here?” Then you must remember why you decided that path of life and go to the Home. By taking account of everything, I assure you that good always wins.

In addition, in those moments you learn that you are not the only person who feels that way sometimes. Workers, volunteers, managers also go through that and can be a great support. In my case I was lucky enough to live with two other volunteers who were in the same situation as me and with which I was able to empathize 100%.

All of a sudden, while I was living all those beautiful things, with the terrible news that we all know a part of me started going to Spain, to Madrid, and that part got bigger and bigger as the days progressed. What seemed distant became close when schools in Fortaleza closed and quarantine arrived.

There was a concern for what to do. The return back was scheduled for April 12, but the flight was cancelled, and no one assured me to be able to return in April at all. With uncertainty, a million doubts, helplessness and fear, I resolved to return as long as was possible to fly.

The last 48 hours I will never forget them, I enjoyed them like never before, they were a real sea of emotions… The virus has hit us all. I am aware of how  fortunate I am that my loved ones and I are well. Hopefully all this is over soon and coming back earlier will seem useless and unnecessary, because it will mean that we are all well.

I did not say goodbye at all, it was a “see you soon.” And, of course, I can only say thank you, thank you and many times thank you: to those who allowed me to live this experience, to those who helped me in the process, to those who opened their homes and to those who were part, in one way or another, of this history, my story in Fortaleza...